maybe it's time to take out the pins?

2006-04-27T11:34:00.000-05:00

Eh waimin. I'm getting a little scared about going home.
I was Friendster-surfing (no, i have no will power) and what the hell,
all the Singaporean girls look like hoochie mamas now!! Even the
12 year olds who aren't of legal Friendster age!
And then there's me..in my t-shirts circa 1998 and ratty shorts.

How?! I don't want to be called Aunty when i go home!

I don't think I'm ready for Singapore.

Smells Like Content

2006-04-24T22:53:00.000-05:00

Everything's coming together.
And I'm happy.
=)

2006-04-07T14:18:00.000-05:00

um.....wow.

Happy 21st!

2006-02-24T16:01:00.000-05:00

Since I didn't have time to get a card and send it, I made you a birthday mix cd (minus the cd) instead. Limewire's pretty fast these days isn't it? It's themed....chronologically, i guess. =)

Ming's Birthday Mix
1. It's Raining Men - Ginger Spice
2. Miserable - Lit
3. Someday We'll Know - New Radicals
4. New Slang - The Shins
5. Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
6. Eye In the Sky - Alan Parsons Project
7. Worn Me Down - Rachael Yamagata (vassar represent!)
8. Sing Me Spanish Techno - The New Pornographers
9. New Age Girl - Deadeye Dick
10.This Dress Looks Nice On You (cough) - Sufjan Stevens
11. Heart - Stars
12. Siamese Cities - Metric
13. Heaven Is A Place On Earth - Belinda Carlisle

Bonus Track: One False Move - Young & Sexy

Id V Ego

2006-02-17T10:33:00.000-05:00

But..but...i said it was time to take out the pins.
It's like removing a splinter-pull it out and the blood comes rushing out and you don't know if removing it was such a good idea after all.
(Leaving it in gets it infected and gangrene hovers on the horizon, i know,i know...doesn't make pulling it out any less scary.)

And I hate feeling vulnerable. But that's a package deal i guess.

Goddammit. Stop analyzing.

i just don't know what to think!!!!!!!

Mix CD

2006-02-16T00:28:00.000-05:00

There's something magical about listening to a series of unfamiliar, nameless tracks.

And even though you'll never see this- thanks, arielle. (it'll get better, i promise.)

Death to Youthful Naivete

2006-02-05T16:23:00.000-05:00

Remember when you were a kid and bubble baths were special treats that you only got on weekends once every couple of months, and the best part of all was pouring the soap in and despite knowing it was wayy too much hygiene for one kid to handle, you just couldn't help wanting more and more soap put in just to see the foam get thicker and thicker and thicker (incidentally, didn't Margaret Mahy write a story about a bath, The Giant's Bathtub or something? I really liked that story. Something about elderflower soap?) and the thicker it got, the more fun you knew your bath would be because in the natural order of a kid's universe, of course more soap=more fun.

So my point is, people of the world, that the shitty thing about growing up is that it screws up your concept of natural order and universal laws and all that jazz. Because-as I discovered oh about 10 minutes ago-when it comes to washing machines, more soap most definitely does not mean more fun. A bubble bath for your clothes defintely does not equate more fun. Having to fork out 4 more dollars for two extra rounds of laundry would definitely mean it's a whole world of grumpy mean-spirited old-people-talking-to-you-really-slowly not funness.

Thank you, Vassar washing machines, for robbing me of a tiny piece of my childhood.

Old fogeys can have fun too!

2006-01-18T05:45:00.000-05:00

So I didn't have my usual big house party, and i didn't plan a fancy schmancy event with costumes and decorations galore..but you know what? I honestly had the best birthday this year than I've had in a long, long time. (oh those silver linings-they always get you in the end!)
Thanks all of you for making my birthday such a blast-whether it was an sms or an embarrassingly public announcement or a, shall we say, highly incriminiating gift, or a card, or a transatlantic shout-out, or just being around. All the craziest parties in the world couldn't have given me a better time than i had last week, so thanks guys!

Love,
Me

i got me those ivory tower blues

2006-01-05T12:15:00.000-05:00

I think what i miss most about college isn't so much simply being in America but rather the consistently idealistic, unabashedly passionate and yes blissfully naive world of academia.

I've got weeks of shopping and partying plans ahead of me, but for some reason a part of me just wants to curl up with a nice warm cup of thesis and a snug little deadline to tuck my toes into.

Oh, wherefore art thou, midday protests, 15 page research papers, bitter school paper article wars, and impossible amounts of readings?!

PS-(There's always a postscript. And/or a parentheses..don't you know me by now?!)
Anyway. This of course is just me randomly ranting on caffeine induced insomnia. I really do love being home and i hate that i haven't had time to meet up with everyone as much this break. Ok enough of this blogging political correctness..you guys get the idea. and if you don't let me spell it out for you: your arse here >> ()() {} << my lips here. and that's all there is to it!

will try to get some sleep now. wish me luck! (damn you *&^$*&$*ing short caramel macchiato at 4pm)

2005-12-09T17:09:00.000-05:00

Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

2005-12-09T10:43:00.005-05:00

n8401269_30018019_8802
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

2005-12-09T10:43:00.004-05:00

n8401269_30018018_8569
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

2005-12-09T10:43:00.003-05:00

n8401269_30018022_9477
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

2005-12-09T10:43:00.002-05:00

Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

2005-12-09T10:43:00.001-05:00

Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

2005-12-09T10:43:00.000-05:00

n8401269_30018021_9269
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

2005-12-09T09:56:00.000-05:00

hello, snow.

Snippets of indignance

2005-12-04T23:49:00.000-05:00

(which is a fancy way of saying here are my thoughts as of now, and I'm sure I can come up with a much better substantiated argument given time and the absence of impending finals.)

This is why I diapprove:

I can't be convinced that capital punishment is fitting punishment for a crime like trafficking. The argument is that trafficking allows greater availability of drugs to addicts, who cause their own deaths if not pose fatal threats to other members of the community. But it just seems too contrived an argument to me. What about drunk drivers? Don't they pose a more immediate threat to the lives of members of the community? Should we be killing off all the 18 year olds who get stopped by the traffic police every night?

It's true that the drug industry is a much more complex network and the social problems that spiral from it can be a genuine threat to security and innocent lives, but then I'd say that's a point in the favour of my argument. Because then what is the purpose of killing the middleman? The drug traffickers aren't the ones who have millions invested in the industry from managing faraway plantations to organizing mass movements of highly illegal substances across borders. The druglords who have invested, basically, their lives to the industry aren't going to allow the death of one trafficker-the lowest common denominator in the drug industry equation-keep them from their livelihood. What I'm saying is that the mandatory death penalty seems to be taking the easy way out of tackling the much bigger drug-related social threats, at the expense of violating a fundamental human right: the right to life (in accordance with the UN Universal Declaration of Human Rights ). I understand that strict laws are necessary for this end, but if the government is honest in its desire to respect both public security and individual human rights equally, then there should be recognition of the right to life as a basic human right, with the punishment made within the bounds of this recognition. If one function of the penalty is to act as a deterrent to traffickers, I'd argue that the threat of 20 years in prison is an equally potent force. In any case, the fact that there have been a significant amount of hangings in Singapore for the past decade (highest number of executions per capita in the world, anyone?) is a pretty good indicator that the threats aren't exactly stopping the problem. Instead of trying to skirt human rights issues by implementing harsher laws, I think the government should be trying to tackle the drug problem within reasonable, humane bounds.

Another concern: that it isn't simply a death penalty, but a mandatory one. This means that once sentenced, the law does not allow for any form of appeal and, as we saw in this case, the sentence was carried out in days, something which is unheard of in most first world countries. It seems to me that the justice system in Singapore has a rather frighteningly confident approach to criminal cases; not allowing appeals indicates that the decision the court arrives at is always the right one, a pretty hefty claim if you consider how most criminal cases go on for years as new evidence constantly comes up. Throw in the death factor and where does that leave us? A legal system that in this issue at least, leaves no room for the possibilty of doubt, which doesn't seem like a big factor, but when what is at stake is a person's life, I'd say that even the smallest sliver of a chance of proving one's innocence should be a crucial consideration for the legal system.

The government claims that the mandatory death penalty protects its citizens from negative social repurcussions of the crimes committed, but if enforcing this means they are willing to overlook basic human rights that every individual should have access to, then personally, I feel anything but safe right now.

2005-11-28T23:48:00.000-05:00

www.stophanging.com

Tommy Toothpaste Strikes Again

2005-10-10T00:04:00.000-05:00

It's time I formally introduced the world to the freshman from down the hall, Tom.

Some may remember him as Take-A-Piss Tom, who inspired my sociology project after freaking the hell out of me with his preference for open-door peeing.
He's also the kid whose first conversation with me was about how his toothpaste has mini Listerine breath strips in it and involved him almost forcing me to sample it.
The next time was when he was singing along to his creepy death metal music and saying how beautiful and meaningful the lyrics were (which they actually were. he had them on his computer. which creeped me out even more.)
Keep in mind that he's also the typical Hollywood jock, complete wth blond hair, beefiness and surfer drawl. (He sounds EXACTLY how i always imagined Moose from the Archie comics would sound!)

And the most recent Tom encounter? Tonight, when he challenged me to a rap battle while we were brushing out teeth. I don't remember how it went, but it involved floss, his friend who was in the bathroom, calling the girls in the bathroom toys and insulting my fashion sense via my choice of slippers.

Stay tuned for more adventures in Tomland. (And keep your seatbelts buckled-it's going to be quite a ride!)

Disclaimer: I foresee all you kaypohchees out there speculating romantickal possibilities, but i can assure you, my fascination with this kid is more of a Scientist-UFO nature than Charlene-Random Object of Lust one. I swear, he's not from this planet. "Tom" is probably short for T3K0 of Uranus or something.

Bathroom Shenanigans

2005-10-07T16:20:00.000-05:00

Ok, not quite shenanigans but I couldn't think of the right word, okay?! No need to get your panties (pun intended) in a bunch here.

So...my hallmates have the weirdest bathroom habits ever. I went to use the bathroom just now and before i even opened the door I could hear this guy in the shower singing-excuse me, warbling at the top of his lungs in a pitch that was definitely way beyond his range (i'm tone deaf and i could still tell.) But wait, it gets better. As if it wasn't hard enough to aim while trying to contain my laughter, the guy in the other shower STARTS SINGING ALONG. Or maybe it was an entirely different song. I don't think it really matters in light of the circumstances, really. So basically, there I am, innocently trying to relieve my bladder, and my hallmates decide to spontaneously start a friickin choir in the bathroom!!

And don't even get me started on the rugby player who doesn't let the fact that he's using a co-ed bathroom stop him from treating the bowls like urinals: he pees with the door open. (I actually wrote a Sociology paper on this titled "Taking the Piss: Deconstructing Gendered Rules of Bathroom Etiquette" which i'm rather proud of. Email me if you want to read it.)

On a slightly different note, Happy Birthday Shantibuns! I didn't miss your birthday! It's still the 7th by US time! Hope you had a good one.

Ana Mabsoota*!!

2005-10-03T15:21:00.000-05:00

I'm going to Morocco next year!!! hahahahahahhaa. i'm sorry i'm not going to be very eloquent in this post because i'm just too damn exciteed!heeheeheeheeheeee.
Anyhoozles, for those who didn't know, I applied to go for a foreign study trip with my school over spring break (which is two weeks in mid-March), where you travel around Morocco and study Arabic and go for classes in a university in Rabat. And there were about 35 places on the trip, with over 70 applicants.....and i got in!!!!! i'm so frickin excited.

The only issue i have with this is...cous cous. I still can't decide if i like it or not. Which may be a problem. I do think it's one of the coolest words ever though.

*For those non Arabically-inclined philistines, this means "I'm Happy!!"

How To Tell You're An Unabashed Geek (Or "Welcome To My World-Don't Say We Didn't Warn You.")

2005-09-21T17:12:00.000-05:00

1. You secretly adore a cappella.

2. Actually, it's not a secret at all: you drop homework to go for concerts and half your 'Favourites' on itunes are a capella, which you constantly blast on your speakers (No, you don't get along well with your neighbour.)

3. Also, you'd jump any guy in an a capella group, despite all signs that he tunes his fork that way, if you know what i mean.

4. When your linguistics professor asks you to rank yourself on a scale of linguistic snootiness (ie. if someone writes "definately" do you not give a rat's ass (rank 1) or do you get anal haemorrhage? (rank 10) ), you go to 10, no question.

5. Your waning crushes have always escalated fivefold when said crushes appeared in glasses for the first time. (Something about that wire-and-glass combination just sets your heart all aflutter!)

6. The other half of your Favourites playlist consists of 80's music.

7. Everytime you see someone wearing that Abercrombie tee that says "I Heart Nerds," you get inexplicably jealous.

2005-09-18T19:37:00.000-05:00

is it ressurrection or resurrection? or maybe ressurection?
if you know the right one off the top of your head, respect!
either that or you need to get out more.

i'm back

2005-09-18T19:29:00.000-05:00

yes, the first new post in a million years. i know. i (still) don't have much to say at the moment but i'm posting this to inspire myself to continue posting (semi) regularly once again.

..yep, it's the ressurrection post. it'll be a catalyst for more posts, i promise.

oh i thought of something to say: i really, really like ben folds. i can't believe i took this long to discover him. rediscover, whatever. but i adore him truly madly and why yes, deeply.

i miss everyone.

i know my calculus.

2005-07-31T12:05:00.000-05:00

1 TCC Iced Coconut Latte at 2am + Friendster surfing after a 6 month hiatus = A splitting headache in the morning*.

*i use the term loosely of course, since by "morning" i mean 1 in the afternoon.

curses.

2005-07-10T02:19:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

I've been scanning my recent blog entries and have come to a rather worrying conclusion:

i think i may have lost my funny.

There is, however, a sliver of a chance that i may simply have misplaced it. I will ponder this before my next post and hopefully, will not have already drowned in the rapidly amassing pool of blandness that is the state of my blog of late. Wish me luck, guys.

it's a two-way mirror

2005-06-29T11:56:00.000-05:00

avoiding the blinkers of arrogance is easy.
but giving up the thorned crown of sanctimony? now that's a different story.

2005-06-21T11:41:00.000-05:00

it's been an..exhausting week. there's no escaping the moments of shock that she's actually gone, the moments of plunging grief. but they never last, simply because it always comes back to that same one point: she was happy. she had been, she was, she still is. and the best part is, we all knew it wasn't just lip service, we knew it from the relish with which she did everything, be it mahjong, her knitting of baby booties, her stories of beloved Chee Swee Cheng, her delighted complaining about anything and everything. i think my friend summed it up best when he came to the house last friday, took a look around and said to me, "I think this is the happiest wake I've ever been to." it reminded me of my favourite scene in Big Fish, that last scene, where everyone in edward's life is there at the funeral, and not a face in the crowd isn't smiling. here's to you mama!

thoughts for a friend

2005-05-26T00:35:00.000-05:00

the one thing i've noticed about growing up is-you feel like every slightly unusual thing that happens to you is a colossal, life-changing Experience to meditate on, to Reflect about. and this new blog-happy era we're in right now definitely doesn't help any. it's like everyone's so busy stopping to smell the roses we've forgotten about the rest of the path. okay enough metaphor, what i mean is we seem to be spending all our time just trying to force significance into the mundane that we kind of forget that in order for emotional epiphanies to hit, we actually do need the mundane to remain just that: mundane, otherwise where is the basis for comparison?

and then it's when something that actually is pretty, well, life-changing happens, your emotional stores simply seem to be used up and you're left feeling slightly cheated because you want to feel excited, exhilarated, reflective, anything... but you're so used to it that you just don't feel anymore.

i am excited. and just really so, so happy. i think the emotions are just buried really deep, waiting to spring up. and i guess i just want to say that (and i really don't know if you'll read this but don't worry i'll find a way to communicate this to you eventually) i'm ecstatic about the news but i'm also sad that i'm losing a part of...my life almost. i mean, if you think about it, our youth is officially over. and don't even mention our childhood. and i know this seems to contradict everything i've been waxing on about talking in absolutes but it's true-this IS that Turning Point-and that's what's scary. and maybe it's just so scary that i can't quite believe it yet.

ultimately, i think, i hate saying 'i'm happy for you' because it feels so contrived when you should know that i'm always happy for you. and that i guess my big epiphany, my big philosophical truth is that the news just seemed so right that in a way it wasn't big news. like in good old david eddings: there was a click when it happened. it's wonderful, it's crazy, it's sad, it's terrifying, it's all of those things plus a couple more but it's also really just, right. which, if i think about it, is what actually does make me happy. so there you go! to end it all off- =)

2005-05-17T17:08:00.000-05:00

You Are a Flashy Red Bra!

Outgoing, friendly, and fascinating.
You're a charmer, with your pick of the men.
But you want a man who's as magnetic as you are.
You need someone who can keep up with your all night gab fests!

What Kind of Bra Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

Find the Love of Your Life
(and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

wow. i've been called a lot of things but never, ever a piece of lingerie. and a flashy red one at that!
haha i swore when i got a blog never to become a quiz whore but it's irresistable. there're just too many ridiculously must-take ones out there. they make absolutley no sense but i'd do a billion of them just so i can tell someone my computer called me a flashy red bra.

ps- wai and xiao, i took the which european boyfriend should you have? one and mine's italian too! i can't wait to meet my hunka hunka burnin' pizza.

pps- and where the hell are all those men then?!

kim and donkey!

2005-05-12T00:19:00.001-05:00

presenting the best kind of study break ever to have hit any college:
the noyes house petting zoo!
there were goats, lemurs, snakes, a fat rabbit, a tortoise and KANGAROOS!..right outside my dorm.
(those of you in australia-gimme a break, we don't get many of those over on this continent lah!)
ohmygod.screw puppies and kittens, i want to have my own goatlet! kim named hers donkey. but tht's kind of confusing. i think i'll name mine...zeus. aww..it's perfect! me and zeus. zeus and me. i'll send you all pictures!

just look at those expressions!>>

kim and donkey!
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

goatlet

2005-05-12T00:19:00.000-05:00

goatlet
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

me and my goat!

2005-05-12T00:18:00.001-05:00

me and my goat!
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

roozlepoo

2005-05-12T00:18:00.000-05:00

roozlepoo
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

2005-04-20T10:12:00.000-05:00

what is going on?! where have all the balls gone?
that was a good sign wasn't it?
damnation and hellfire.
i am confused (and also want to kick myself really hard!)

who's yo daddy?

2005-04-12T21:30:00.000-05:00

i. rule. i killed 2 people today!i was born to be a serial killer.

dial m

2005-04-11T17:26:00.000-05:00

Ok. So for today's post I'm going to try something new, and it might be a little scary for some of you folks, a little wild, but please, bear with me. Here it is: I'm going to try to write a (wait for it....) normal post for once! hahaha.
anyhooo. so yeah i signed to play this campus-wide game called Assassins and it's so crazy! it's really really fun but it screws up your life.

ok ok. so basically how it works is you get a name in your mailbox of some random person in the school...and that's all you get. This is your victim and you have to track this person down and KILL THEM! With water and nothing else, unfortunately. at the same time, someone's trying to kill you! and you have no idea who they are. and once you kill your person you get their card with a new victim etc etc until there's 1 person left. and i tell you it's the most fucking awesome game i've played!hahaha.

but i meant it when i said it screws up your life. i found out who my killer is (kind of) because she was asking my friend about me and now SHE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE! And so everytime i pick up the phone i don't say anything and if there;s a knock at the door i pretend i'm not in. and basically i stay out of the room as often as i can. and i've changed my name. i mean, those are just little things you give up for the game, nothing really. just your standard sacrifices like your identity, your social life, your sanity....

but really, it is the most fun you'll have being paranoid out of your mind. trust me!hahaha. will update more after i make my first kill. schlurrrp the smell of MURDAH is in the air!!BWAHAHAHA!

yay for the bobster!

2005-04-10T12:52:00.000-05:00

bobby ding is so smart!bebe ding is cool!bobbi brown is going to northwestern!!YAY BOBBY! bobdog isn't that cool because he'll be in chicago and not new york. but still, congratulations bob.

2006!!!!!!

errrrrghhhh

2005-04-05T23:03:00.000-05:00

(%^$%#@#$%^&*(&^%##$%^#&#$@$&%$#&#&^
%^$*$*$$@#!%*)&^%^#$%X^&UF^&$&*$*&%(^(
$^&*%#@#@#(*&^)%*()_^*&!@@@()^&*)(&(*&&*!

god!!

it's like.....emotional constipation.

2005-04-03T20:04:00.000-05:00

i feel like the worst person in the world right now. (it's got nothing to do with the post before this just so no one thinks i'm becoming bipolar or anything.)
i thought i was getting out of being a coward by being a bitch. but maybe i was just letting my cowardice turn me into one.
the hardest thing to do is finding that perfect medium between looking out for yourself and not stepping on anyone else's toes along the way (or worse, stepping on their faces.)

2005-04-03T02:45:00.000-05:00

i'm happy!!!!!!and slightly drunk.
in the words if napoleon dynamite,
"yesssssssssssssssssss...!"

success!!
(i hope i spelt success right.ha.

prayer

2005-03-28T11:58:00.000-05:00

oh spirits of pop culture and teenage lust, hear me!i need jack johnson. in central park. desperately. please?

2005-03-23T17:50:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,
it hurts to know people can be bitches..but then it hurts to know i'm not perfect, either.
sometimes i just want to flip off the whole fucking world so every single person on it knows I AM PISSED OFF.
to stop making me feel like the crud you find on the underside of your shoe, just through the tiny little things that maybe don't seem like anything but then why is it i still feel like crap? maybe i'm just being a hypersensitive dickwad but if it doesn't take a lot for me to be decent--just common human decency--then why the hell can't everyone else?
to be fair, i have mean days too and i guess today just tipped me over the edge for a while. i think i am kind of being a hypersensitive dickwad so i have to remind myself at times like these that the world's filled with assholes, or at least socially retarded beings that i'll just have to deal with when i encounter them. but i am glad i have this blog: a tiny bit of cyberspace all to myself where i can whine to noone at all. etherapy, it works!

[to you guys who read this-no worries, this was just me feeling mopey and irritable, it's not supposed to make any real sense!i'll be over it in just a bit.]

deflowered!

2005-03-18T12:11:00.000-05:00

DSCF1463
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

so here we go,some snapshots of what's been going on this spring break...

first, my deflowering at the local gay bar..my first kiss taken from me by the very sweet and very gay ethan.awww.>>

and some photos from my fabulously fun weekend in toronto with wai below..

2005-03-18T12:07:00.000-05:00

DSCF1465
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

why i do believe we've defied the very laws of nature!

2005-03-18T12:02:00.000-05:00

DSCF1426
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

with pearls please!

2005-03-18T12:01:00.000-05:00

DSCF1429
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

snow monsters

2005-03-18T12:00:00.000-05:00

DSCF1414
Originally uploaded by pincushionqueen.

sexy sexy...

2005-02-26T02:46:00.000-05:00

i just heard people having sex in my dorm bathroom!
wow.
first there's the whole trauma of hearing other people having sex while you're trying to brush your teeth. (now there's a sentence you don't hear every day.)
and second of all, the dorm toilets are just plain disgusting!!at least get a room or.....a broom closet or something?
and c'mon,can you seriously feel sexy when you hear people gargling and trying to take a shit right next to you?!

which is also probably why i'm sure i heard the girl say right before i left (in a pret-ty disappointed voice) "did you...?"

2005-02-25T13:09:00.000-05:00

<<-- i added a couple of links to the sidebar(ooh la la, techno jargon!)...you MUST check them out!

a thought:

2005-02-25T12:56:00.000-05:00

the sucky thing about friendship is, you have to take it personally.

2005-02-20T22:06:00.000-05:00

i want to lock up all my favourite songs in a room and drown myself in them.

2005-02-18T15:21:00.000-05:00

i don't KNOW why socialization is important to developing a sociological perspective on gender identity, dammit!!(*^&$(&%^$%%*^& 5 pages of frickin why!!!on a frickin friday!!)(*^)^^&(@^%

2005-02-15T23:36:00.000-05:00

L'amour est un egoisme a deux
-Mme de Stael (1766-1817)

Love is egoism for two.

I really, really wish I'D come up with that one!

2005-02-14T17:48:00.000-05:00

just because i think the khoo sisters are the most talented sisters alive, just because this is my blog and if you can't be self-indulgent and narcissistic on your blog where can you?, and just because it is after all my mother's birthday...everyone take a look at the coolest birthday present a mother ever got right here!!

the coolest present a mom ever got

and what the hey, happy valentine's day.

2005-02-10T17:07:00.000-05:00

happy (er belated) chinese new year all!

thanks for egging (bad rooster pun #1) me on while i'm so far away from home during this festive season.
it's been hard; why, we all know it's so easy to just sit at home and brood (bad rooster pun #2) all day about missing out on pineapple tarts and kueh bangkek or not having some of those cool little red sunflower seeds to nibble on when i'm feeling peckish (bad rooster pun #3).
that's why instead of staying cooped (bad rooster pun #4) up and depressed i actually got my hands on some cny treats (my mom rocks) and chinese music (in the mood for love, anyone?) and even a couple of white chicks (bad-and vaguely disturbing-rooster pun #5) and put together a hella rockin' chinese new year party.

2005-02-09T17:39:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

i wonder why it is that when i watch a movie that's makes me sad i don't cry, but when i read a line in a book about the pain of two people, feeling in love but not quite being in love (the pain of love, which i might add i've never even experienced myself) it makes my nose prickle, and the tears creep in. and why when someone i know gets sick or dies i can barely muster up a few tears, but when i think of some tiny event like the quesadilla guy saying something nice to me on a low day, i feel like crying. or when a word in a song just gets me, even if i don't understand the rest of the song at all. and always, it's such a relief to finally feel the tears-beginning with your heart feeling like it's being sucked into itself, then to the pinpricks in your nose and eyes-it's always such a relief to finally cry, even though it's usually over something so silly that you stop crying almost immediately, at the very thought of it. it's like all your messed up emotions thoughts rants bitterness vulnerability just get out of your system for the tiniest of seconds and it doesn't even matter if the context is totally incongruous. it just feels somehow liberating, for the moment, which baffles me, but also in a way makes me happy.

2005-02-04T13:16:00.000-05:00

Dear Noir Hole,

i spy with my little eye a cute guy.bwahaha.

to all who give a da bian, i'm taking a Chinese lit class. yeah, i just might have gone mad.

i'm listening to third eye blind right now...old school music can be rather fabulous, don't you think?
(and so can the phrase "old school")

2005-02-02T17:57:00.000-05:00

essays baaad.

tres cool

2005-01-26T11:55:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

We watched the coolest little cartoon--le dessin anime--in French today. A newborn African baby runs around under a hat helping his uncle defeat the evil sorceress Caraba who's intruded the village and who just so happened to have eaten the little baby's dad and brothers.

I lovved it.

2005-01-21T10:22:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

This morning I took a shower, stepped out of the dorm for 5 minutes to get to the cafeteria...and my hair froze over!!
Newsflash: -24 degrees celsius weather is NOT FUN.

kudoses

2005-01-19T19:05:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

this is a little late but thanks all you guys who made my birthday a blast!
yes i'll admit i'm still hugely disappointed that you decided to cancel the
ah beng stripper in the end, but otherwise it was a pretty damn good night.
so thanks!
(now my 21st has a lot to live up to)

anyhoo.i'm bach and it's cold.hmm and judging by the throbbing walls and strains
of alarmingly hypnotic europop filtering through, my dear DEAR next door neighbour
my-i'm-annoying martin is back too.ah,college life.

first day of classes today but there wasn't anything terribly interesting to report
...at least until i confirm which classes i'm taking i guess.

this was an embarrassingly boring post and i apologize but i swear that it only goes to show
that euro house and trance kills brain cells and retards one's sense of humour by at least
60%. (okay as for the inaccurate statistics..i was always bad at math anyway.)

2005-01-03T11:09:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

catchphrase for the week (thank you, jing): viet bong.

2005-01-01T23:08:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

So virtually everyone I know celebrated the new year on some cooler-than-cool boat party (at least i'm assuming that's how it went...haven't actually spoken to any of said attendees yet.) or possibly went to a slightly less cool but still somewhat decently scaled on the coolometer party on ms or orchard road (gimme a break i've been out of it for 4 months i don't know what's cool or not cool anymore.) as for me, i pictured myself maybe clinking mocktail glasses with the family on the balcony of some swanky restaurant overlooking the streets of hanoi, or perhaps by the Hoan Kiem Lake attempting to count down from 10 in vietnamese with a bunch of young vietnamese punks and australian tourists and afterwards undergoing a sudden sense of camaraderie with my newfound friends a la lost in translation?

i didn't have any miraculous chance encounters, or even a rainbow-coloured night sky to dazzle me into hopeful wishing for the new year. all i had was a good dinner, and then a good book and nice comfy sheets to tuck myself into. i suppose falling asleep at almost exactly 11.29pm sounds like i was trying to make a statement but i swear i wasn't. that's just the way it happened. so the night turned out to be like every other night and funnily enough, i'm pretty happy with the way it turned out.

ps-you know what they say about the way you spend new years being the way you'll spend the rest of the year??well, does that mean i'll be sleeping like a pig throughout 2005?!glory hallelujah!!

2004-12-21T10:06:00.000-05:00

ok i just HAD to document this moment:

i was sitting in my room listening to a radio station and the dj's blabbing as a shakira song comes on and his voice gets slick with radio-perfect intonations and he says "..and now here's Shakira with "Looking Underneath Your Clothes." Enjoy. "

ah...home.

2004-12-21T09:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

intan's not a puppy anymore. my maid's sucked the life out of my room by putting everything i own into plastic translucent toyogo boxes leaving my room so spotless you could perform an operation on the floor. the weather's horrible and i never want to leave an air-conditioned room.

but i'm glad glad glad to be back!

tick tock goes the croc

2004-12-14T21:54:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

i'm going to be 20 in about 30 days(plus-minus the time difference from home and here..you do the math cos i'm not going to). that's so weird it's not even scary. or funny. weird. i think i'm gonna go watch peter pan again.

i've kind of stopped caring about birthdays. everyone's always saying how scary or terrible or exciting it is to turn twenty but i know when i wake up the day after i'm going to feel exactly the same, act exactly the same. and the really scary part is,it's been that way for a while. why DO we have birthdays anyway? ok fine as someone who was the most anal kid around about having the perfect birthday party from ages 5 to 16..i really shouldn't be one to talk. but seriously, getting older's just growing the hell up!no one really wakes up the same date every year and goes gee what have i learnt in my life so far that's taught me valuable lessons to carry on to my wee little grandkids. it's just about living and every now and then you get a little lightbulb of inspiration (like why something that irritates you for years can become something you really really miss. or why you have such a fascination with tabloid updates on the olsen twins.) until one day you turn around and the lightbulbs have become a string of christmas lights, and you realize that you get it, or at least part of it. so you feel a little smarter and yes, older.

so birthdays. i've never woken up on a birthday and begun "reflecting" because i'd just feel like a hallmark card. (have you ever had a hallmark moment?well good for you cos that's just a pretty way of saying 'wow,i'm feeling just like a cliche right now'.) the lightbulbs come when i'm writing an essay or having a shower (showers are particularly jolts-of-inspiration-friendly i've noticed) but never on the same day every year year after year.

this is the point where i should say something like, "therefore, i henceforth declare my birthday null and void.never again will i claim the day as mine." well.....unfortunately, of all the lightbulb lessons i've learnt, will-power is not one of them.so,i'm pretty sure turning 20's gonna be fun, nothing life-changing, but fun and i guess i'm willing to just enjoy it for what it is. (it being presseeentsss and paarrttiiess and verrryyy ggeenneerroouss frriendssss. hmm sounding a bit deranged there. freebies do that to me. i should end this while i'm still typing words that make sense.)

my head is in the palm of the exam god from hell

2004-12-13T16:00:00.000-05:00

it actually doesn't make sense.i've had 2 days and have another 2 days to study for the one paper i have left, which should mean more than enough time..but it's as if the singaporean in me just can't accept the fact that there actually IS time to study, i can actually be prepared for an exam for once in my life! my brain knows it, it really does.it's a disciplined, conscientious thing, my cerebrum. it's just that sometimes, it's plain not worth listening to.

i think i want to name the exam god from hell. i want to call him Panadolus. and his righthand man Caffeinus.

S.M.A.D.O.T

2004-12-11T17:29:00.000-05:00

curly hair
-once blonde,
once straight-
she does have.
Rightal lobe o' mine,
and I, left.
Words have I not,
except,
S
D
C
!
They took her from me
to
the land of rising sun.
And Sailormoon.
Now, she is
Smugly Married.
But all i have
is a habit for my head.

smells like teen spirit......and english.

2004-12-10T03:15:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

somebody needs to invent a new word for love.

it is only a string

2004-12-09T11:15:00.000-05:00

it is only a string
Originally uploaded by Pin Cushion Queen.

i thought i'd add some culture into your lives by posting some fine, fine art up.

for cultured minds only:
explodingdog.com

2004-12-09T02:11:00.000-05:00

ooh,i know java. anyhoozlebees.everyone must visit fly guy. i'm in love with the person who came up with this. (especially if you're in a crappy mood.unless you're waimin.)

i would swallow my pride, i would choke on the rinds..

2004-12-08T22:40:00.000-05:00

Dear Black Hole,

so it's the end of the era. i've gotten myself a *^%(^...a(*^&%&++...damn, i can't say it. oh well too bad. i will do no explaining for why i succumbed to the powers that be (or should i say the powers that blog?) all i'll say is,well honestly, people like to talk. i like to talk. and if there's no one to talk TO, then well let's just say the world's not very friendly to people who keep talking anyway. and what better way to release all that mental vomit than to send my words of infinite wisdom into the gaping black void that is the internet every now and then?it sure beats screaming "shut upp!!shut upp!!i'm not listening!!!" to yourself when it gets to be too much to handle.yes?yes?i think so too.and that's why we all get along so well.

and okay fine.this is a much better way of communicating to everyone i don't want to lose contact with back home than sending monthly emails that more or less all say the same thing.."sorry sorrryr!no time to wriote!!much homewoork and deadlines!i miss tyou!!how's life!bye!love charl!" (typos included!)

one little disclaimer before i end my first post (and so the blog-lingo begins...ick.): this is MY b(&^%^(g and MY decision to succumb to the forces of internet hell, so i can take months and years to update (gahhh!!another one!) it if i want to and i can fill it with grammatically inaccurate spiels of garbage that have absolutely no relation to my college life if i want and noone, noone can say anything about that!!AHAHAHA!except of course if i start writing poetry about my woefully misunderstood self and the bleakness of existence.

But

Why?

Does No one
understand?

Me??

ME. Blood.
Blackness. Life is
futile.

Yes yes. if i ever start to sound like that i give everyone full permission to spam my bU%^^*g with hatemail and virtual graffiti and take me out and shoot my rotten brains out.cos they wouldn't be worth all that much by then anyway!

okie dokie.that's it for now.this page has been littered with enough rubbish jah!back to wonderful joys of final paper-writing..a thought to warm any heart!happy holidays one and all!i kill you.